I know it's been awhile since I've blogged. Why, you ask? I'm not sure. I guess I could say that I've been busy with exams, studying, and homework, but let's be real.
I'm not exactly bombarded with loads of schoolwork, here. It's more the intellectually and creatively stimulating environment that I'm constantly surrounded by that's so time-consuming. The conversations. The art being produced. The subtle lessons learned in class. The vibe of the island. There's just so much to consider.
And this past week, I've been alone. Literally. The rest of the students went to Istanbul for the week.
It's been a nice break. Without classes. Without anyone else in the apartment complex. I've had a very relazing week filled with resting, watching movies, laying on the beach, shopping, meeting new people, walking around Paroikia, enjoying the beauty in being still.
I think I needed this week to revamp my spirit. I needed time to refocus my energy and attention, so that I could be fully present and attentive in these last eight weeks abroad. And, in doing so, I've been able to grow so much. In every possible way.
I've realized that putting pressure on my time here to be this magnificent transformation that I'll never be able to revisit is ridiculous. I mean, a huge part of this experience and living here are the struggles. The obstacles. The hardships. All of those battling thoughts in my head that I think are distracting me and making me "lose out" are part of what makes up this time. Getting through those thoughts. Piecing together ideas and hopes and realizations.
In hindsight, I'm sure I'll look back on these months and realize, "Wow, those were the hardest, most strengthening months of my life. But I wouldn't have changed one thing about them." So, if I know I wouldn't change anything about my time here, why should I get so wrapped up in trying to control it now?
And that's what I've been so busy with these past two weeks. Not studying or homework or taking adventures. But learning. I've been learning how to stop trying to conduct a life I think is right. Or make choices that I think I should be making. Or being the person I think is the best version of myself.
Simply learning how to live. How to just breathe and know that it's all taken care of. All I have to do is breathe (and sleep and eat and drink water and exercise occasionally). Though this seems like an obvious understanding to most, I find it difficult to obtain.
Being still is hard. Just living is hard. But that's what I've been doing. And that's what I'll continue to do.
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In between all that living, here's a recap of my last two weeks:
Zack Welsh and me dressing up as Ares and Aphrodite
for our Goddess presentation
Michelle, Mariana, Anna, Cat, Grace, and me
at Garden Apollon Restaraunt for dinner
Sitting at Dodoni's waiting for class to start
Watching The Notebook with Lynne and Isabel on a rainy day
Resting on Market Street with my grandparents and Sonja
My yummy Greek salad that I made for dinner
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