A Reoccurring Theme

In almost every conversation I've had, in the last few days, we've spoken of our mind's ability to comprehend the world.

Heavy stuff, right?

Whether it was involving: A. the increasingly irritating "living in the moment" B. our linear view on time and responsibilities C. our relationship with something outside of our own understanding; it was always leading back to our minds. How we view our lives. Our capabilities. Our interactions. Our passions.

I think some of us are off the mark. Most of us.

It's been so ingrained in us that this strict format of a life is the only way to go about it. You're born. You go to school for 16+ years. You get a job. You get married and start a family. You hopefully retire before you die. And, occasionally, you save up enough money to throw in a few vacations.

That's so off. And, frankly, it terrifies me.

While, yes, guidelines help us maintain structure and maybe even sanity. Guidelines also limit us. They tell us what we have to do and what we can't do. But who wants to be told they have to make this much money or they're a failure? Or that they'll never be able to accomplish this because it's simply not practical?

I know it seems like I'm getting off on tangents, here. But these things connect. I'm a list-maker, so here's one for you.

A. Living in the moment. I hate this phrase. It's loaded. There's constant pressure to make sure that you fully take in your surroundings and your experiences. If we're ever able to only be in the present, however, there's not a lot of room for imagination and excitement for what's to come. Heck, that's where artists get their inspiration. Imagining the future or being enchanted by the past. It's not to say that being presently aware is foolish, by any means. I just think there's a difference between "living in the moment" and applying those constant thoughts (on the past and future) to the moment.

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B. Linear view on time and responsibilities. If you were born in America, which all of you reading most likely are, than you're aware of the mindset focused around time. Busy, busy, busy. Always working. Always filling time gaps with more tasks. By the time Saturday rolls around, you're too exhausted to live. Or maybe you don't even get a Saturday. But who's to say that time has to be so...so focused. So future-driven. So revolved around the idea of what's next? Why is it so hard for us to think of time, less like numbers on a clock, and more like...
this energy that graces us with opportunity. I know I've just lost some of the cynics. I haven't turned into a herb-loving hippie, Mom. I'm just entertaining the idea that there's more to time than we can see. Some might call this energy God. God allows us this "time" to take opportunities. To make changes. To affect others. Love others.

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Stick with me, here. I promise, this is where it all ties together.

C. Relationship with something outside of our own understanding. This God that gives us time to live in the moment wants us to make better use of ourselves. I don't believe in a God that wants me to limit myself to a lifeplan because it's more realistic, responsible, and practical. I don't believe in a God who wants me to feel guilty when I let moments pass without being able to recall every speck surrounding me. But I do believe in a God of grace. Love. Joy. Respect. I believe that my God graces me with the abilities and opportunities to love others in ways that evoke joy and respect. My God's time is so different from what I've grown up to understand. It's not 24 hours that make a day worthy. It's the thoughts and actions that make the day mean something. That make our lives mean something.

I don't think I'll be on my deathbed wishing I'd been more practical in getting that one job or regretting not double-majoring in college. What I hope I'll be saying is, "I'm so grateful that God allowed me to love every day of my life. And, to my fullest ability, that's what I did. I was perpetually loving."

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I'm not sure if this makes sense to anyone besides myself. But I hope you got something out of it.

Something that will make you stop in your tracks. Evaluate your life. And think about what drives you. Why do you get up at 6:30 every morning? Why do you work yourself into the ground week after week? What are you working towards? A degree? Retirement?

What if that day doesn't come? What if right now was your final moment? With fear of sounding cliche and terribly cheesy, we're not promised tomorrow.

I'll end this long, possibly incoherent rant (I apologize) with a stanza from Wislawa Szymorska's poem Nothing Twice.

Why do we treat the fleeting day

with so much needless fear and sorrow?

It's in its nature not to stay;

Today is always gone tomorrow.

With new ideas and humble thoughts--